The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.
John 10:10 NIV
May. It’s a simple word, really. Yet, here in this verse, it is the difference between having life or death. It implies choice. Choice means that there is power and preference as well as the option to surrender it. Who we choose to surrender it to is the game changer. In Stronger Than The Struggle, the author, Havilah Cunnington, makes this statement:
We defeat the enemy when we come out of hiding and leave perfectionism and disappointment behind.
Strong Than The Struggle, p. 56
The two things she mentions struck me, as, over the last three years, I have been experiencing what I would call a revival. I’ve been learning how to lay down the parts of me that have only known living small, sheltered…hidden. Upon turning 29, I stepped into new territory. I began facing things I’d never truly dealt with until then. I was led by the Lord to face some of the demons that had been restraining me, destroying my ability to live life…to the full. Living should not seem like a novel concept and yet, there I was, walking in it for what felt like the first time. In the previous 28 years of my life, I became well acquainted with death. It was all around me and it severely inhibited my ability to thrive.
This day I call the heavens and the earth as witnesses against you that I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life, so that you and your children may live
Deuteronomy 30:19 NIV
There is an anointing that breaks the yoke of bondage and has the power to redeem even our worst mistakes. It’s found in God’s presence. The only way to get there is to surrender our way for His and learn to trust His heart. Our choices also affect the legacy we leave on this earth for generations to come. The things we wrestle with in the dark as well as out in the open become the things that shape our family lineage. Generational curses. Bondage in the area of mental health, finances, and relationships. These are the kinds of things that are passed down, whether we choose to acknowledge it or not. These are the things that we are responsible for breaking through now so that our lineage can live in prosperity of mind, health, and resources.
We have little ability to stay empowered if we don’t settle in our hearts the truth about God’s intention.
Strong Than The Struggle, p. 57
I have now come to realize just how much my inability to experience certain emotions throughout my life had been linked to significant loss. On the day of my father’s burial, as his coffin lowered into the earth, I made an unconscious decision to stop living…a decision that later consumed my existence. I no longer entertained many of the things that, at one point, brought joy to my heart. Instead, I meditated on what my last moments on earth, and even thereafter, would be. This led me down a dark, depressive path, which stole many opportunities for joy to truly blossom in my heart.
If we discover we have lost our desire to fight, to contend for the life we want to have, then somewhere along the way we have forgotten God’s intention.
Stronger Than The Struggle, p. 58
Every day we go up against the circumstances of life and we are faced with the challenge of choosing to live rather than succumb to our circumstances. It took me several years of healing in therapy as well as church community to establish a steady footing that now allows me to propel into abundant living. I am now able to experience the fullness of my emotions. I must say that, though I didn’t have any expectations, I had no way of knowing how powerful the decision to live again would be for me. My heart became tender in a way that I cannot describe and, painful as it was, it was beautiful.
Grief is no longer my story and sadness is no longer my default countenance. I am learning how to leap for joy over the smallest details and praise God in the hallway of my destiny. Gratitude marks my temperament and thanksgiving flows from my lips with greater ease.
This is the life of abundance that I missed out on for much of my life but, by God’s grace, has become my new story. I am no longer the girl who lost her parents. Rather, I am a daugher of the Most High God and I bask in the glory of my Father on a daily rotation.
It is by grace that I can praise God with a humble, honest heart. My hope and prayer is that my testimony of God’s transformative work in me is a reminder and encouragement to you that your time will come, if it hasn’t already. Lift up your eyes and choose to see the beauty in your current circumstances, this is the key that unlocks the door to the abundance of Christ in our lives.
So if anyone is in Christ, there is a new creation: everything old has passed away; see, everything has become new!
2 Corinthians 5:17 NRSV
Song Selection: No Bondage by Jubilee Worship
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