In 2021, I felt the call of God to go deeper with Him and to pull away from the many distractions I’d found myself entangled in. When He called me away from these distractions, I initially made the mistake of trying to endure the growth process without leaning into His love and the ongoing support of community. This led to severe burnout, suicidal ideation and general hopelessness.
And have you forgotten the encouraging words God spoke to you as his children? He said, “My child, don’t make light of the Lord’s discipline, and don’t give up when he corrects you.
Hebrews 12:5 NLT
When God removes you from an environment, it is always for your good. However, if you fail to trust the character of God, you may miss out on experiencing the full blessing that accompanies this process of transformation. This then gives the enemy an opportunity to add confusion to the situation. At the heart of confusion is debilitating fear. This is what plagued me for several years until I finally faced my issues with God’s help.
There is no fear in love [dread does not exist]. But perfect (complete, full-grown) love drives out fear, because fear involves [the expectation of divine] punishment, so the one who is afraid [of God’s judgment] is not perfected in love [has not grown into a sufficient understanding of God’s love].
1 John 4:18 AMP
I lived my life believing lies about God. I didn’t fully trust Him because I didn’t fully know Him. I allowed the stings of rejection that I endured throughout my life to eclipse my view of God. I questioned God’s true intent for me, as His child. I felt orphaned by my life experiences and began to view God as One who only tolerated me, rather than loving me to my core. I essentially lived parts of my life as an unbeliever though I desperately desired to please God.
And it is impossible to please God without faith. Anyone who wants to come to him must believe that God exists and that he rewards those who sincerely seek him.
Hebrews 11:6 NLT
God was gracious as He humbled my heart into true submission to His will for me. I struggled my way back into His arms after believing that His love for me had a limit. My over-reliance on self-soothing behaviors only came to an end when I gained a solid grasp of what it means to receive the full love of God.
Now I stand with a vantage point of eternal bliss, believing God at His every word. I am not perfect but being perfected while dwelling in a now two-way loving relationship. I am finally walking in confidence because I have learned how to accept the love of God into my heart. I am now more of a reflection of godly character than I ever could have been trying to do things my own way.
I now lean into community and choose to allow the love of God to continually transform the broken pieces of my life. I can only be grateful for this process of transformation and hope that my journey inspires you to let God into your heart for the sake of total life transformation.
Until next time,
Be well.
Song Selection(s): Start From Scratch by Koryn Hawthorne; Never The Same by Marizu; Take Over by CalledOut Music
Leave a Reply